爱吃猫的鱼

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
社会主义作风
你有两头牛。
你把其中的一头给了你的邻居。

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
Communist主义作风
你有两头牛。
国家征用了这两头牛，只给你一些牛奶。

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
法西斯主义作风
你有两头奶牛
国家征用了这两头牛，并向你出售牛奶。

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
纳粹主义作风
你有两头奶牛
国家不仅征用了这两头牛，还杀了你。

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
官僚主义作风
你有两头奶牛。
国家征用了这两头牛，杀死其中一头，挤另外一头牛的奶，再把这些奶扔掉。

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
超现实主义作风
你有两只长颈鹿。
go-vern-ment要求你开设口琴课程。

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
老派资本主义作风
你有两头奶牛
你卖掉其中一头，买了一头公牛。
牛群得以繁殖，经济开始繁荣。
这时你把它们全都卖掉，并以这笔收入养老。

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
美国作风
你有两头奶牛。
你卖掉其中一头，并强迫另外一头产出四头奶牛才能产出的奶。
最后，你雇用一个顾问分析为什么这头牛会死亡。

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then 执行 a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
风险资本主义作风
你有两头奶牛。
通过使用以你妹夫名义开具的信用证，你把三头奶牛卖给你的上市关连公司，然后通过施行债务——净资产转换，你得到了四头奶牛，接下来又因为免税政策又拿到第五头奶牛的所有权。六头牛产出牛奶的所有权通过一个中介公司，秘密地转移到大股东在南美小岛上开设的一个皮包公司里，然后这些大股东又向你的上市关连公司出卖所有权，奶牛的数量因此增加到七头。
公司年报显示，该公司拥有八头甚至九头奶牛。
你卖掉一头奶牛以便收买美国总统，这使你最终得到了第九头奶牛。
公司因为有豁免权而不公布资产负债表。
然后公众开始购买你的公牛。

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
法国作风
你有两头奶牛。
你举行罢工，组织暴乱，并且阻塞交通，只因为你想要拥有三头牛。

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
日本作风
你有两头奶牛。
你重新设计了它们，使它们的体积只有原来的十分之一，但是产奶量是原来的二十倍。
然后你创造了一个叫“Cowkimo”的可爱卡通形象，并使其风靡全球。

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
英国作风
你有两头奶牛。
这两头牛都是疯的。

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
伊拉克作风
每个人都认为你有很多奶牛。
你告诉他们其实你一头奶牛都没有。
没有人相信你的话，所以他们炸掉你的篱笆并侵入你的国家。
现在你仍然没有奶牛，但至少你拥有了不完整的民主政治。

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
澳大利亚作风
你有两头奶牛。
你的生意看起来相当不错。
你关上店门，去喝上几杯啤酒当作庆祝。

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
新西兰作风
你有两头奶牛。
左边的那一头看起来非常有魅力。

AN ASSESSMENT CORPORATION
Your client sends you two cows
The client wants to know how to make them like each other more
You put them into EQ & CQ assessment and find out why they don’t like each other
You tell your client to send the manger of those two cows to learn the solutions of how to lead in an international cow corporation
Your client tells you they are too busy having lunch with beer & vodka, creating cartoon, worshiping or shooting themselves.
咨询公司作风
你的客户给你了两头奶牛。
他想知道如何才能使两头牛更加喜欢对方。
你给这两头牛做了一系列测试，找到了它们不喜欢对方的原因。
你让你的客户把这两头牛的经理送来学习在跨国牛公司里面的领导策略。
你的客户告诉你他们没有时间，因为他们忙着在吃着饭时候喝啤酒和伏特加、制作动画片、顶礼膜拜或向自己开枪。